Thursday, September 30, 2010

Simulated my TMS design!

After many hours of work last night/today, I've finally successfully simulated a monophasic TMS design in LTSpice.
Just need to get the capacitors and diodes for the voltage multiplier circuit and some heavy wire for the TMS coil and we can begin experimentation soon enough!

Pokemon Apokelypse

Friday, September 24, 2010

Todd Murphy Brain Lecture

He looks like Weird Al

It's the Harvest moon

... and I feel like I might feel like the main character in "A Confederacy of Dunces", even though I haven't read the book, I had a flash of future/past insight. Whatever that is...

Thursday, September 23, 2010

lol @ "positive thinking" but not postive thinking

Great section made me laugh a bit in this book... "Journey into Light" - Ann Ray
I have been associated with groups of people who practiced "positive thinking". The friends I made were nice pleasant people but they seemed to lack some vital force and when I was with them, I always had a strong urge to say the most negative things I could think of. The emphasis on the positive was accentuated in some of the people, including the minister of their church, by an offshoot course from the original Silva Mind Control, where one is trained to go into light trance and re-program thinking into positive channels. The pressure of negative energy, undealt with, then built up and built up and this was especially true of the minister, whose emotional life split off from his spiritual philosophy. Finally his private life erupted into public view with shady financial dealings in the church budget, power plays on the church board of directors, an affair that hurt and embarrassed his model wife and led to divorce, plus pandemonium in the church itself, which lasted for weeks, including a Sunday morning service with a new interim minister (a lady). The old minister rushed to the podium, shoved her aside, grabbed the microphone, and asked the congregation to follow him to another church. This very emotional plea split the congregation down the middle and, forgetting all about positive thinking, they began to bicker and to each other down and the devotional spirit vanished from the church.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


It's just like Go

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I am presented with itemized lists of experience that flow down and down, make me question my consciousness, I sleep and I rest, then I wake up to this list killing me slowly and painfully and I hate it, but then I see love of life on the horizon of the list, heading towards me like a Mack truck... but I see, that as soon as it hits me the love of life won't be there any more and I will spend the rest of eternity trying to find that truck to run me over, to make me love once again but it won't be there, and it will leave me in the desert again, groping for that bliss that became me once. And with each grope I drop one of many things that I stole, and the angels pick it up and take it back to heaven or the devil's fill their bellies and digest it back again to shit all over me.

Music and Life - Alan Watts

This is perfect, I was talking to black Chris at the bar one night and he sounded similar to Alan Watts in this speech, animation done by south park folks:

Monday, September 20, 2010

You're beautiful

I knew you, I knew you
Oh mother, I knew you

And here we are today
With the needle in the groove
Going towards the black lips that kiss

Old gentlemen sigh softly and whisper "Damn" to one another as they pass themselves in the street dressed as a fine young woman with subtle skin and perky breasts.

When will this end, I tire. What force has called me forth from the great rest, the great abstinence?

Tell me ancient once, o secret masters give me a reason... not to answer why, but to answer... am I gay?

To try, or not to try

Watt: What's the story: "Don't Try"? Is it from that piece he wrote?

Linda: See those big volumes of books? [Points to bookshelf] They're called Who's Who In America. It's everybody, artists, scientists, whatever. So he was in there and they asked him to do a little thing about the books he's written and duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. At the very end they say, is there anything you wanna say, you know, what is your philosophy of life, and some people would write a huge long thing. A dissertation, and some people would just go on and on. And Hank just put, "Don't Try." Now, for you, what do you think that means?

Watt: Well for me it always meant like be natural.

Linda: Yeah, yeah.

Watt: Not like...being lazy!

Linda: Yeah, I get so many different ideas from people that don't understand what that means. Well, "Don't Try? Just be a slacker? lay back?" And I'm no! Don't try, do. Because if you're spending your time trying something, you're not doing it..."DON'T TRY."

Yoda: "Do, or do not, there is no try"

Akron Family - Ed is a Portal
Ed is a portal
Ed is a portal
And damned if we don't try

Reset! - If we try
{the love anthem}
Some great electronic dance tracks

55. Artificial Hell

Another freedom from a life of hell exercise for this week.
Ever notice the multitude of tragic scenes that play in the theater of your mind? You run scenes of getting hurt in flight, of falling into public disgrace, of being jeered by your enemies. Stop attending these imaginary performances. Do not be caught unaware. If one sneaks up on your exclaim, "It tricked me again! Well, I'll be more alert." Snap the scene. Refuse the sinister show. Just as you can fall asleep you can fall awake.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Late Howard Exercise... 46. Permanent Power

Forgot to post the "Freedom from a Life of Hell" exercise on Monday, well here it is:

Weakness can never be happy. Real happiness and real strength go together. So seek true power, for it rescues you from every human hell. Think about strength, but do not think it can be found anywhere in exterior life. You can't find power in friends or money any more than you can find a peach in an apple orchard. Real strength is inner and personal. Memorize that sentence. Emphasize inner and personal. You will never again tremble before anyone.

Bold is all mine, all mine!

Great Heinlein quote

Happiness lies in being privileged to work hard for long hours in doing whatever you think is worth doing. One man may find happiness in supporting a wife and children. And another may find it in robbing banks. Still another may labor mightily for years in pursuing pure research with no discernible results.

Note the individual and subjective nature of each case. No two are alike and there is no reason to expect them to be. Each man or woman must find for himself or herself that occupation in which hard work and long hours make him or her happy. Contrariwise, if you are looking for shorter hours and longer vacations and early retirement, you are in the wrong job. Perhaps you need to take up bank robbing. Or geeking in a sideshow. Or even politics.

Source: Jubal Harshaw in To Sail Beyond the Sunset

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The normal becomes amazing

How the simple act of breathing can become the most amazing thing to occur in the universe:

yes, right there.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


I gotta get back to prison in time or else I'll be in trouble and be sent to prison.

I drink half a bottle of wine

And I still feel like everyone is a lying, single-body, from the central point that just shines and doesn't care for the devil's feelings at all.

How sad.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Read Kafka's Metamorphosis today, found this to be visual on many dimensions of thought:

"And supported by the two women, he rose haltingly to his feet as if he himself were his greatest burden and allowed the women to steer him to the door, where he shrugged them off and laboured alone, while the mother dropped her sewing and the sister her pen to run after him and aid him further." - Kafka, Metamorphosis talking about 'the Father'

good quote from the internet:
"Like I said before, if you believe everything the government says, you really need to talk to an American Indian."


real dream

(01:30:41 PM) uberscientist: one night dude
(01:30:49 PM) uberscientist: I was walking down that big street in front of my house
(01:30:58 PM) uberscientist: and there was this guy and 2 girls
(01:31:00 PM) uberscientist: or 3 girls
(01:31:08 PM) uberscientist: and they were being yelled at by a couple black dudes
(01:31:31 PM) uberscientist: because the guy went pee somewhere they didnt like
(01:31:40 PM) uberscientist: they were saying he was pissing in front of kids or something
(01:31:47 PM) uberscientist: and were ready to beat his ass
(01:32:20 PM) uberscientist: and I somehow found myself walking next to them, like I crossed the street at the "wrong/right" time
(01:32:34 PM) uberscientist: and I had a staff and bathrobe on
(01:32:48 PM) uberscientist: and just walked next to them while the dude got harassed
(01:32:56 PM) uberscientist: and the black dudes left
(01:33:11 PM) uberscientist: and then they noticed me and said they thought I was one of the "badguys"
(01:33:29 PM) uberscientist: and I said "Don't be afraid ever"
(01:33:39 PM) uberscientist: eh eh?!
(01:34:00 PM) uberscientist: then I talked to them
(01:34:05 PM) uberscientist: and got invited to this party
(01:34:08 PM) uberscientist: when I got to the front door
(01:34:13 PM) uberscientist: my heartrate increased
(01:34:18 PM) uberscientist: and I was like oh fuuuuuuuuuuck
(01:34:38 PM) uberscientist: and told them
(01:34:47 PM) uberscientist: I get nervous in these kinds of situations and left
(01:34:51 PM) uberscientist: :(
(01:35:00 PM) uberscientist: should've I kept going?
(01:35:12 PM) uberscientist: funny how I cant even keep my own advice huh?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Ralph Nader at NAU

So I saw a sign saying Ralph Nader's talk was moved to another auditorium on campus (Audrey Auditorium) and wanted to go check him out, I found out that you needed to have a ticket and NAU ID, it turned out Bryce had a ticket and didn't want to go, and I still had my old ID.

I was able to make it to the speech and sat through his main portion but left as soon as he opened the floor for Q and A, I was tempted to advertise the local pirate radio station since he mentioned that the airwaves are the people's.

There was a bit on outsourcing, how we live on a finite planet, how "even the rich won't be able to escape", how being conservative with your energy usage saves money, so "going green" is economically sound as well as healthy for the planet (he didn't use that horrendous term though)...

He also talked a lot about how we've grown up corporate and have no real interest in civil matters. This part of his talk was most intriguing to me, and has inspired me to go investigate local matters to the best that I can, maybe sit in on some council meetings or something.

I took a bunch of video, probably around and hours worth... I might have enough time to put it on google video or youtube, or maybe I could do a highlights reel.

Anyway, I'm going to go be a hedonist and cook up some potatoes and eggs and put them in a burrito with some salsa and eat it up. yum yum.


From an MBDB trip report on Erowid:
"Inside the forest was where I was struck by some of the most intense emotions I've ever been so fortunate to experience. As the wind moved through the leaves on the trees, something in my spirit came to attention. It felt as though the sound of the leaves was carefully orchestrated, anything but random; a song with an idea attached to it. This flood of feeling is causing me to shake. I turn my eyes to the trees surrounding, and I am blown away. The perceptions of beauty are overwhelming. I feel as though I am being called -- pleaded with -- to come home. The term 'Mother Nature' takes on new meaning. Having no coping mechanism for this type of experience, I'm reduced to muttering somewhat incoherently about how glorious this natural earth truly is. The Human Impact, the wars, the pollution, the consumption of resources, the rate of extinction, all of these things are temporary, and they too will pass. Nature's force is unrelenting, and eternally patient. This is what I learned. "

Monday, September 6, 2010


Slappy the tog tumbler, felt up the meat clot in the visual field. Too bad only the fallacy of phalluses can created the mental image of the converse integral into the sporadic interpretations known to the race of bluggy creatures as the smegma palace. No worries my dear prince, the nonsense will be made cents to the megalomaniacs that aren't in control, but are under a control, a cuntrol more powerful than any man can imagine, the yonic vortex giggles a effeminate ejaculation into the aural plane, the fifth sense some would call it, however it doesn't stop there. Body language isn't ESP, it's just the next sense beyond the yodel of the narcs and faggots. Say one thing and do the other, yes it is the no my enemy lover.

Nonsense? Ah, yes the sense that made too much nothing, this is the splatter of the diuretic upon the screen of the farce force. Terrible blues are being played as the letters unfold into words as the words unfold into images and smells and reality. The code is code, the sun rises and sets, is it not beautiful? No, it is not, trust me for beauty is existent only in the opposite of the cycle, computers are ugly say the roman, the code is ugly say the roman, the flow of water down through the plumbing of themselves is ugly. Oh, well, that's fine, only a liar can see the truth in the matters that exist only in the twisted (DNA DOUBLE PAIR) code of the entire reality of the up-down, flaming serpent sword of the paths. The liars to be surrounding us by ourselves isn't not so much truth as a spoken story of 1 thousand umples (a time unit) however time is truth and 50AD is real and now, and not quite it because it's not and really 1998 FB, 2010 CT yes, how many breaths do you take per thought? No no, you don't die based on time you die based on how fast you think, dear dear dear, how backwards they've got it! The medical society that everyone is desperate to become dependant upon for healing is wrong, oops, go to a doctor and get cancer and autism injected for a hefty fee, and now let us let the people who put us in jail put us in hospital beds, yes, it isn't that bad really. They give you lotions and moisturizers and bland food and Oreos(TM), and you don't even have to worry about choices anymore! How wonderful a release from a life made of straining, stressful, blessful choices! Just lie down dear friend, it will be ok, you can relax now, you will be taken care of and these pills will let you not care anymore, LET YOU! It's a privilege to not care you fucking fool, titter titter.

God damn, work a job in order to buy the liquid to deaden your life in order to work a job that has no life. Yes my friends, it is time to become "FREE" and let the true masters believe in you, the masters from above below, or below above they exist there. I stick my hand down the front of my pants and use a sweeping motion with the tips of my fingers to reverse scratch the side of my sticky scrotum, what kind of man isn't free enough NOT TO SMELL HIS FINGERS!? I'll tell you... you, your dad, your dad's dad, your dad's dad's dad, you are the conspiracy keeping yourself down, kill your parents! then kill yourself! Become the masters that exist between black and white, good and evil, up and down, above and below! What is the game of jealousy? Is it othello? Other fellow? It's not funny anymore, it's pure pain, to attach yourself with golden chains to your morals will kill you, to attach your enemies to justice with iron chains will rape you. Create a relaxed state for the universe, heel and then toss the chains to the side for they are chains are you are not! You are free! The sixth node on the tree contains the whole tree, believe in your psychosis, oh you don't have a choice! Learn, understand, love, respect, and fall knowingly into the perpetual hallucination that you've never left, but have learned to forget. The truth is your fall, and your fall is your rising. Everything is opposite, settle your voices dear world, or I will re-shuffle the deck and burn upon your brow the prophecies of the homosexual priest. There is no truth besides my chainsaw and the chainsaw that chases me around my mind, the pork and porking are one in the same, the ass in the air, the beauty of the assexual, the demon breathing fuck fire. Terrible and beautiful, awkward comfort, in order to sleep... SO I CAN SLEEP, WHY HAVE I BEEN RAISED FROM MY REST? WHO SUMMONS ME?

39. Natural Way

"Strain is pain. When about to meet people, watch for the precise moment when you fall into unnatural behavior. It is the same moment you want to impress others with your niceness -- though you don't feel nice. Catch that sudden switch to a strained greeting or a faked face. Catch and stop it right now before it takes you over completely. This uncomfortable way will be replaced by an enjoyable ease and skill with people."

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Post number 123
I sit here with my painting staring at me
Eyes without pupils, a machine driven by an unaware soul
I am scared, and I don't know the way to show it
I don't know, and I know you don't know either
But I am willing to listen and feel like a dummy
Men crying out words from life rafts to one another
Soothing lies to get to the next sun rise
Disconnected ideas flowing like a dream to my wake
I can't talk about it, the story didn't begin
Nor will it end
The four horsemen of the apocalypse never stop riding,
And they swing their weapons millimetres from my Life
Life-breath more valuable than money
Money more valuable than feces
You say "Of course, how existential"
Of course, other people are hell
But, nay, the gold we mine, and technology we produce
... feces of the eternal malfunction

Friday, September 3, 2010


If you could make me feel responsible, I'd say sorry

You didn't like working nine until five? Sorry
You didn't like being put through school? Sorry
You didn't like being touched there? Sorry
You didn't like the blade being forced through your throat? Sorry
You didn't look as you crossed the street and you didn't like being crushed beneath the wheels? Sorry
You didn't like him with your mom in bed? Sorry
You didn't like how soon he died? Sorry
You didn't like the STD you recieved? Sorry

What and which ones shall I feel responsible for? All of it? That's quite a task, I'll grow my legs until I can't see your insect face and crush you all over again. Either that or grow up yourself and crush me. How easy I forget, how easy it is to forget and become like a child again.
Leave now or Love me
Or is it always you and me, you assume all egos as I assume this singular form?
I see you as the multitude when you're really just one.
And then I separate myself from the waters above and the waters below.
I am the vault of heaven, sin dotting my night sky.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

yah faucks!

Yeah, every single last one of yah fauks!

Oh wow.

Am I the only male interested in artist trading cards? All the videos on youtube are of womens, or maybe the male artists don't make youtube videos of their artist trading card makings.
I don't know... it also seems like people making cards on youtube are all using some sort of mass-production technique.

Oh well I dunno, I'm bringing some art to a thrift store down town to setup and stuff.