Monday, August 30, 2010

Artist Trading Cards

I went to Michael's today to get some paints (there's a 40% off all paints coupon now), and found a cool product called "Artist Trading Cards" it's just a little pack of canvases, I bought a assorted pack for 1.99 which included: vellum bristol, smooth bristol, canvas, textured, water color, 1 illustration board and 1 acrylic.

The reverse side of the packaging once you get it open has an interesting history:

What are artist trading cards?
Artist Trading Cards (ATCs) are miniature pieces of art that are traded around the world. Artists create, trade and collect art at organized "swap" events, either in person or online. It is a great way to meet other artists and share your work. The only official rule for ATCs is the size: 2.5" x 3.5".

How did the movement start?
In 1997, M. Vanci Stirnemann, a Swiss artist, created 1200 cards by hand as a part of an exhibit. On the last day, he invited others to create their own cards and trade with him during the closing reception. After that, the movement took off as other artists organized major "swap" events! Today, there are ATC swaps in almost every major city around the world. There are also many online swaps.

There's more info here if you're interested: Strathmore

I'll post any that I make, maybe I'll do one tonight!


When I got home from the store I didn't even take the time to put the ice cream up, I laid the box down on the counter, and like the beast, split the red hot manager's special tag with my raging index finger.
The box top was thrust open without thought, usually I see myself as a loving creature, a man with care and gentle passion, but something else was in control.
The smell of fried pastries, fruit, and sticky sugary glaze filled my nostrils and it was said that you could see a fire being ignited in my eyes, and I feel as though there really were little fires being ignited all throughout my body and mind, fires of the id, fires that rise up from the bottom and burn the divine with desire.
My salival glands began to quiver with excitement, the first emissions of salival fluid began to be released as I wrapped my fingers around a crispy fritter, oh yes, it's a cherry one. Delicious.
My arm, hand, mind, eyes, they were no longer working as individual body parts, but as a machine, working toward a single goal, the goal of unification between the fritter and my face.
My teeth break the sugar glaze, and continue through the dough and cherries, my nip-nips, they get "rock solid" as my mind expands to the edges of the universe.
The sensations are so strong that I lose myself in the process.
I come back to my individual state, my fallen state... fallen from that eternal heaven that fritter was the temporary key. Oh! This is my struggle, finding the keys to unlock that door to that place, one key will work for a while, then it's another. Damn those slippery keys!
As I sit here writing this now, I know there's a box of frits out on the kitchen counter and a bottle of milk just waiting to dribble down my bearded chin to my hollowed chest that will be and is filled with ecstasy and sorrow to the most extreme degrees.
What key will unlock the oceanic experience today? Will I be able to find it? That is for me to find out, and to drink deeply of the ichor that floweth from the teats and deaks of the godesses and gods. I am a tick who hath burrowed deep within the flesh, and there is a tick that hath burrowed within mine and as it drinks I drink.
Hell understood is heaven, eat fritters, unify in life and in death!
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law!

32. Go Upward

When you do something wrong, you must always use it to build rightness -- which is the same as happiness. Never permit a mistake to push you downward into pain and self-hate. Instead, allow the error to carry you upward to where you can see why it happened. Maybe you snap angrily at someone, then see its wrongness. Remain with your rightness of seeing its wrongness. That heals you. Each day you will make fewer and fewer harmful mistakes.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Saturday, August 28, 2010


The United States of America:
  • A Eradicates Men Outfits
  • A Sectarianised Me Of Tut
  • A Academies Fine To Trust
  • A Academies Fetus It Torn
  • A Academies Titters Of Nu

On the Bondage of the Will

From the wiki article: "On the Bondage of the Will"

His conclusions are that unredeemed human beings are dominated by Satan: Satan as the prince of this world never lets go of what he considers his own unless he is overpowered by a stronger power, i.e. God. When God redeems a person, he redeems the entire person, including the will, which then is liberated to serve God.

and I thought this was a good joke, the wiki author thought he was "proud" of his essay On the Bound Will...

Regarding [the plan] to collect my writings in volumes, I am quite cool and not at all eager about it because, roused by a Saturnian hunger, I would rather see them all devoured. For I acknowledge none of them to be really a book of mine, except perhaps the one On the Bound Will and the Catechism.

Dynamics in the Quaternions

Friday, August 27, 2010

Heavily I tread upon the back of Life

My words aren't as heavy as my feelings,
My thoughts are vapour compared to the emotions,
Heavily I tread upon the back of life,
The screams are silent, but I know they're there,
Circuits putting the fear of god into himself,
He "saw" the light, and it was "good",
The dance occurs in Rebis, and in the enormous womb,
Every breath causes pain to your mother
Forget about the cracks and run, you are no longer the pursuer
...but the pursued!

Don't take this personally, it's "the new age".

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Virtue is my vice

We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, o king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun, Strength & Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake.

Syn is the commandment of nak

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Dream this morning...

Sitting in the gravel around a truck bed with a lot of people (I felt they were friendlies from Flagstaff) some girl tells me to go introduce myself to another girl and I get up but I don't really want to go over, she's not that attractive (or not attractive at all really)
There was another part about selling farts or something like that, fart sound collection, I don't know.

Monday, August 23, 2010


This week: New Energy

"Turn harmful emotions into energies for self-healing. Write a list of ten self-punishing emotions such as gloom and a complaining spirit. On the other side of the page make a list of ten pleasant conditions including alertness and enjoyable hours. Inform yourself, "By sacrificing gloom I have its energy for an alert mind." Or, "By giving up complaints I have new power for happy hours." Practice this exercise in which you win by losing!"

Watched this today...

"The Meru Project has discovered an extraordinary and unexpected geometric metaphor in the letter-sequence of the Hebrew text of Genesis that underlies and is held in common by the spiritual traditions of the ancient world. This metaphor models embryonic growth and self-organization. It applies to all whole systems, including those as seemingly diverse as meditational practices and the mathematics fundamental to physics and cosmology...Meru Project findings demonstrate that the relationship between physical theory and consciousness, expressed in explicit geometric metaphor, was understood and developed several thousand years ago."

I was lead to this through my research of Shefa Tal (according to Stan Tenen, the guy speaking in the video Shefa: Flow (sort of the sense of Tao, or wave model from what I understand) and Tal: Units of information (Particle model)
Google translates it:
Shefa: Abundance, plethora
Tal: Mound, heap

So a "heaped abundance" or as Tenen seems to percieve more 4th dimensionally, the abundance is in the flow and the "notes" that make the flow is the Tal.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Great quote from amazon review

"In Jesus Christ we go to GOD TOP-DOWN !!!
With alchemy we go to GOD BOTTOM-UP !!!" - Fernando Romero

The middle pillar, thrusting back and forth kether to malkuth, malkuth to kether, between severity and mercy, the path is one and many.

Want God bottom up? or top down? I've been enjoying bottom up lately~
Aurora Consurgens (amazon link)

Saturday, August 21, 2010


No, I'm not ashamed of my meat.
It's just that no one seems to want to see it.
So I hide it away.

No, I'm not ashamed of my opinion.
It's just that I don't like to argue.
So I don't push it about.

Friday, August 20, 2010

I can't speak to you

You hide behind your masks
Wrap your beauty in words
All I do is eat your flesh
I see you in every eye
and I wont know you until I die
Costumes of archetypes
Bind me in your ego of freedom
The serpent with razor skin
Tis my coffin of sin

Pu pu purfectíon

This is where we eat metaphors for breakfast...
and shit poets.
We snort coordinate systems to get high and find reflections of ourselves between number bases.
Perfection is but the shell that attempts to define us... and we are the dynamic definition that sodomizes 'perfection' to a delectable departure from delusion, to deteriorate upon the detritus known to us as the dogmata of dharma de-flowered.
We don't have bodies here, we have sex canons... written of the ink drawn from our own nipples upon the membrane of the intersection of infinite dimensions. The pen doesn't stop sexing itself.
Here, we throw new year eve parties... into black holes, just so we can experience the countdown for all of eternity.
Sharpness, to the pu pu purfect leetle point, that da da dances from my tongue, it can never be too precise.

Everything I write is $h!%

Do I really need you?
I don't know who you are.
Do I really want you?
I don't even know what I desire.
I hear them say "You'll know"
The pain of separation to rejoice in union.
It's been lifetime after lifetime.
When I lose my life, will you let me be yours?
The final breath, grasping for the next rung - hologram.
I don't remember to say no, our pleasure together, our beauty apart.

אור, in extension, and it is a prison to rejoice within
Sol, but all I see is Luna
Soul, but all I feel is flesh
Sole - and I'm one with the Earth.

Used to the pain, pleasure foods, ice cream, cigarettes.
My only solace in the symbols, it's how I kill you gently.
My parasitic tendency, imprinted at the tit.
I suck, from teat, to bottle, to cock.

See for yourself the whole world from the bottom of the valley, the mountain builders and shame wielders at their post upon the mighty Tower. An idea -- and it all falls down.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Overcoming the Fear of Death #3

A good point to keep in mind when "other know betters" are getting antsy at seeing you "just being" and try to drag your serene self (yeah right :P ) into their own personal hells.

Actually, the whole point of life may be mere existence; man's basic problem in terms of his unhappiness and alienation may be his feeling that he should be something more; that he should be doing great things; and that he should build a mountain. His curse may be the ambition to be unique.

Tick Tat

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Gabriel Syme, the protagonist (Thursday)

Copied straight from Wikipedia, just for my own collection of words placed in patterns that please some neurons that I associated with.

* "[...] no man should leave in the universe anything of which he is afraid."
* "The rare, strange thing is to hit the mark; the gross, obvious thing is to miss it."
* "Chaos is dull [...]"
* "[...] what is there poetical about being in revolt? You might as well say that it is poetical to be sea-sick. [...] Revolt in the abstract is — revolting. It's mere vomiting. [...] It is things going right [...] that is poetical!"
* "[...] just at present you only see the tree by the light of the lamp. I wonder when you would ever see the lamp by the light of the tree."
* "[...] always be comic in a tragedy. What the deuce else can you do?"
* "The moderns say we must not punish heretics. My only doubt is whether we have a right to punish anyone else."
* "Don't you see we've checkmated each other? [...] I can't tell the police you are an anarchist. You can't tell the anarchists I'm a policeman."

I'm going to go pick up the book this character is from tomorrow, "The Man who was Thursday"... seems really cool from what I've peeked.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Week 3: The Difference

A wise man is one who knows what gives him something and what gives him nothing. Develop this wisdom by reading these statements many times: "Asking how I fell into trouble gives me something but self-pity gives me nothing. Quietly changing my own nature gives me something but trying to be noticed gives me nothing." You will see that there is a difference in what you do with yourself. It is the difference between heaven and hell.

Rancid Fragrance Fray

Right place, right time, right thought, right action. Shucks!
Pay back my debts to myself, because I wasn't happy so I need to work off the times that I wasn't happy in some boring 9-5 job or some ridiculous cheese grater torture machine from hell. Yes, that must be it. I thought it was funny because everyone was being serious about it. Sorry. I guess it's pretty serious, huh Chief? I don't know Boss, but one things for sure I'm getting pretty jittery up here, it seems like the light isn't really much of a thing. What do you mean by that, huh Chief? Well, Boss, I feel as though though the push-pull mechanism is a bit tilty-wonky and my posterior is being inspected to the fullest extent for the ultimate destiny.

"PERHAPS" whispered Chief into Boss' ear.

Chief's lips were almost upon Boss' ear, the humidity from the steamy hole in Chief's face created a veneer of lust-water on Boss' efficient sonic condensing apparatus.
Slowly, Chief moves his face model from the model of Boss. Boss' member becomes "quite hard" and Chief understands that it must be time for "it" (if you know what they meant). The tent pitched by the enraged member of Boss resembles something that a young cub scout of 9 or 10 years of age would pitch in the forest to shelter his "self" for the excursion to come face to face with the elements of nature, to understand for the first time since leaving the comfort of the nutritious, warm, "comfortable" (abracadabra), heart-beat rave known to the common man as the "WOMB BEFORE BIRTH"! Ah HA! Infinite wombs to be a parasite within, and the mother loves me? and the mother will eat for two of us? I HATE EATING! (I love it so.) and the mother will take a clothes hanger and shop vac--! Ohh nooooooo! I've gotta do some Buddhist meditations now, am It compelled to do so? What is funny isn't funny, and what isn't funny... well then.
Anyway the member, it's still hard and Chief is all about what is occurring in Australia (down under... in Boss' pants... of course AND anyone in their right mind would be honoured to witness such a sight[according to the constitution of {censored}]) So, first, get ready now, Chief uses the index finger of the right hand to poke (or prod gently) the very TIP TIP of the TEE PEE... this action APPEARS (and remember children only appears) to throw Boss into a state of excitement so intense his head jerks "right back", as though he were starting up a roller-coaster track to the absolute nirvana of Shiva's ever-creating-ever-destroying phallus emanating the entire spectrum of ALL spectrums into the yonic potential that is himself (and Boss)(and maybe Chief too)!
The kegel mussel was delicious and vibrating to the beat of "Love don't dance here anymore" (by Tiga) the tongues of Chief were not one but all tongues for all eternity, every man, woman and child felt a shiver run from the tip-tip of the tonguey wounge to the heart, where, in turn became a ever-glowing star, a star that shone with a light so pure that they thought it was really real... like really real for reals this time, not like that thing that wasn't, and can't quite remember from before, 'cause that was total panky. The hanky is what's worth breathing right for. SO, now the thing has happened with everyone and everyone knows how great this thing going on is, and so the entire universe is like accepting the Coniunctionis that is already being felt through all dimensions (all dimensions are only, 2.light, 3.gravity,, 5.stuff, 6.things and one more SECRET ONE to make it match up with the teachings of the three initiates, of course they're telling the truth). So, then it's all super hard (you know what) and a little bit of the "pre-cummulingus" appears as a crowning star, the wee Coleman(R) camp light[patent pending] that mommy got little cub Tommy to hang in his tent (only $7.95 at Target(R)!)
"Mmmmm HMMMMM."
"Very true, that is VERY TRUE."
"Most, SUPERB, verily verily! Muy bueno!"
... (extrapolate the exchange yourself, if you paid me to write this I might keep on going, but now you've got to do some work yourself.-nak)
OK, so now they're all talking naughty like that, and the pants of our friend Boss contains the Pyramid of Khufu, and Chief is going MAD WITH DESIRE!!!11``!~!one1~one!
Let us continue...
The "Uncountable Tongues of Chief" come from all angles in the multi-hyper-verse and delicately lift the "Pull-tab" of the zipper mechanism in such a manner that the "Pull-tab" and Cheif's pearly white "Central incisors" come in contact. This contact creates a eruption of neurochemical release and synapse firing that APPEARED to begin at that point of contact, sending mechanical signals through the skeletal and fluid amalgamation to be seen by a God in the erotic quivering of the fine hairs, each with a unique personality, yet hold true to their inner light, upon the Organ of Coti. Cheif moves HEAD downwards in order to also move "Central incisors" and "Pull-tab" in congruent direction (for you know what purpose! and it's getting your nippys "real hard"). The zipper "teeth" (these don't grind up foods) are now separated, imagine a DNA double-helix "unzipping" in order to "get down", oh yes. yes.
Chief moves EYES up, however, leaves most of FACE down creating an effect that destroys all barriers that were pretending to limit Boss before. Boss lets out a gutteral sound, a moan? a groan?

"PERHAPS" whispered Chief into Boss' ear.

Chief's lips were almost upon Boss' ear, the humidity from the steamy hole in Chief's face created a veneer of lust-water on Boss' efficient soni...

Friday, August 13, 2010


... for so long today. My hand almost got a cramp a couple times.
And the painting is still not done!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Spam Poetry

For a while I was really into "spam poetry", the random sentences and words strung together to get pas spam filters. I recently got this one from Aleshia Eakin :



... genius

Archipelago means a cluster of islands formed tectonically, and translates to mean something like Chief of the Sea from the Greek. (from Wikipedia)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Overcoming the Fear of Death #2

Another paragraph of gold:

Suppose we computed the average number of paces a person takes during his lifetime, and suppose we were conscious of this fact, rather than the number of years the average person lives. Let us further suppose that the sum is to be one hundred million steps. Even though we would realize that is just an average, we would focus on that average figure and believe we were entitled to that number of paces during the course of our lifetime. This would make us very conscious, would it not? of how many paces we were taking, whether each one was strictly necessary, whether we could perhaps take longer ones, and finally, how many we had left. And when we reached out alloted number of paces, we would feel as though we were living on "borrowed paces" rather than "borrowed time." We would feel that every pace counted, and mothers would tell their children, "Don't waste your paces," rather than, "Don't waste your time."

Overcoming the Fear of Death

I've been reading (slowly as I read now a days...) Ishtar Rising by Robert Anton Wilson, and have been exploring each mysterious facet, quote, book, author, unknown word or phrase; not to "gain knowledge", as I feel it seems impossible to do so... and when knowledge is most visibly "gained" it seems to occur at the beginning of life during our imprint stages and when we were most susceptible to being conditioned in early childhood ("All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" - Robert Fulghum... I haven't read it yet). It takes a type of meek courage to not know anything again and become vulnerable in order to "reprogram", I can't say if the programmer exists within or without, or both.
Anyway, Ishtar Rising mentioned a book called "Self Love" by David Cole Gordon where he explores the search for adult "oceanic experiences" (losing ones self to something... RAW is relating it to the "oceanic experience" of oneness with the universe while the infant is at the breast) the excrement generated by this adult pining "...includes such diverse behaviours as all forms of sex, gambling, watching football games, certain kinds of crime, religious mysticism, mountain climbing and even stud poker." pg 28 Ishtar Rising.

So, being interested in checking out Self Love, I looked for a copy at a local library... to no avail, but I did find Overcoming the Fear of Death by the same author. I am currently on page 29 and found this to be quite a wake up call (transcribed from David Gordon's Overcoming the Fear of Death):
Man works for many reasons not the least of which is to live. But would he work so hard to live if he were fully conscious of the fact that he must die? Man frequently works to the degree that he does, not so much because he has to, but because he does not know what else to do. Work becomes to him ultimate meaning and reality. But does not man really work because he feels he is forced to, rather than because he wants to? Would he not rather play? And, once he finds himself working, does he not convince himself that his work is very meaningful and all-important? We see the case of the man who works to the exclusion of everything else, including all human relationships. He convinces himself that he has found ultimate meaning ; he works night and day and perhaps forgets that he must die and that he and his work may be completely meaningless. This is the man who has completely forgotten his mortality, and in his headlong flight to escape it, is really rushing to embrace it. This is the man who kills himself, finally, after first killing everything in himself that is human. This is the man who suddenly dies in his middle years after having achieved, or being on the verge of achieving, great material success. This is also the "success" who one find day puts a bullet through his head, the day he suddenly remembers what he has been so desperately trying to forget, the fact that his is a man and mortal. This is at the exit point of his life, when he realizes that he has been alienated from an authentic existence by pursuing false and inhuman goals, and in their pursuit , has has sacrificed his life, alienated his family and friends, and lost his opportunity for happiness.

This is a paragraph that one so desperately wants to communicate to him(her)self/others, but fears that the results of reading such an arrangement of words may trigger some sort of "breakdown" in the subject (whoever that is).



by Dylan Thomas

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower
Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees
Is my destroyer.
And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose
My youth is bent by the same wintry fever.

The force that drives the water through the rocks
Drives my red blood; that dries the mouthing streams
Turns mine to wax.
And I am dumb to mouth unto my veins
How at the mountain spring the same mouth sucks.

The hand that whirls the water in the pool
Stirs the quicksand; that ropes the blowing wind
Hauls my shroud sail.
And I am dumb to tell the hanging man
How of my clay is made the hangman's lime.

The lips of time leech to the fountain head;
Love drips and gathers, but the fallen blood
Shall calm her sores.
And I am dumb to tell a weather's wind
How time has ticked a heaven round the stars.

And I am dumb to tell the lover's tomb
How at my sheet goes the same crooked worm.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Which Jung type is most popular on the internet?

First column is the Jung type, followed by the number of google hits for the type (ie. searching for ISTJ for the first row), the 3rd column is the average of the estimated percentage range for the type in U.S. population according to CAPT

Type Google % of Pop.
ISTJ 173000 13
ISFJ 129000 12
ESFJ 82700 11
ESTJ 362000 10
ENFP 196000 7
ESFP 104000 7
ISFP 121000 7
ESTP 252000 5
INFP 336000 5
ISTP 569000 5
ENTP 484000 4
INTP 484000 4
ENTJ 151000 4
ENFJ 115000 4
INTJ 547000 3
INFJ 228000 2

For the chart I multiplied the estimated % average by 10,000 in order to get a visual idea of the relationship between the 2 numbers. INTJ seems to be the furthest spread between % and google hits, ISFJ seems to be most balanced, and ISTP wins out for being the most popular type on the internet!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Leaning on the world of Illusion

I am all alone with the hungry beast, all it wants is for me to become ripe, everyone that was once viewed as a friend of nak will fold away into the 4th dimension, the "mental meals" supplied to me in order to bolster my pranic generation for the dark lord. I pray that he chews me quickly and passes me through the digestive track into the holy throne of porcelain. I am a robot, the ones and zeros that come from the higher memory being passed through my processor in an sequence that feels like time, feels like anxiety, feels like hunger and satiety. I am all alone, covered in a veil of light, magnetic fluid flows in me, but I am unaware, I am a blind man for the most part. I don't know anything, perhaps sleeping outside tonight will do the trick. Maybe then I'll learn how to feel swell again. Is it sex? Do I desire to be celibate? Where doth will flow from, the animal, is there any truth to anything, what is the right path, I need not think these thoughts.
Free dumb in Amerika.

Clear Mind

This week:
"When feeling uncomfortable in a situation tell yourself, 'I need not think these thoughts.' That self reminder is like a flash of lightning at night that reveals the road home. Maybe someone offers you a small bribe in exchange for something you are reluctant to give. While confused and undecided remind yourself, 'I do not need to think these thoughts.' Your cleared mind supplies new thoughts that easily refuse the bribe and prevent the problem." -- Vernon Howard

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Tai Recipe for Integration into the Planetary

All aboard the mess train, the Allen Trackington participation is inevitable, the door of Life will be opened and the boot of Prometheus will drive the message directly to the bottom of the buttocks. Ah, perhaps the dig man will see the Chinese temporal temple in Nepal when he takes a 30 degree inverse degree. One is a word, but a drop of water that makes the rain that falls from the super cortex outer fractal. Zoom, oh la la. The fire is created from ice the Alien Masters tell us, they are our friends, they feed from the prana gently and bring us Lux from the heavens, the stars are not all Silver. Tzaddi is not 17 they say as well, perhaps the trap isn't really a trap, every vagina is infinite and the energy of the yama is but maya in the mental trappings of the moisture that drips down the mouth tube connected to the Moon. They feed me. I am thankful and I allow them to use my hands in order to laugh at myself and feel once again, the flame of the torch has once again touched my heart and now the blade that directs the freedom penetrates from the left side of the extension of Chokmah down my back and to the pengina that exists above my butt crack. Who knows what they mean when the darkness appears to be crawling, the blood, the skeleton, the worms eating my flesh, the chainsaw cutting through my throat. The sexual union with the pig meat generates the bacon of Satan which he eats with the technology generated from the military-industrial complex. The pubic schooling that we recieve in our dreams before we're ready generates a world of oversex'd hyperperverts that I love more than the mirror image of the mirror image of 5 to the 3rd degree. It is the spiders that bite and infect me with their fear, they make me jump like the white shirts and sushi munchers. I am no better than a kitty-dog that hath no way of eating itself besides through the extension of light from the inner Nuit.

Friday, August 6, 2010

We're projecting more than we realize

We aren't that different from the rest of the universe

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I read the word "ambivalent" from my enneagram type ("Fives feel ambivalent about the world...")

wiktionary: Ambivalent

From Latin:
ambi- (“in two ways”)
valeō (“be strong”)

A word for the the union of the opposites! I was actually very pleased when coming across this word and being "brave" enough (damn egos LOVE to pretend to know everything...) to look it up and gain a deeper insight into this word (and The Work).

The definition they have is as follows:
Simultaneously experiencing or expressing opposing or contradictory feelings, beliefs, or motivations.

It's funny, once you are able to define something, put a label on it, in a way you are able to kill it or place it aside, or manipulate it more easily than working with something without some sort of "symbol" to grasp with "lower mind" (3rd circuit of Leary consciousness perhaps?)

Ambiguous: Open to multiple interpretations; 2nd part from Latin agere (“to drive, move”))... to move in both directions, like an electron in a superposition of particle/wave, the state of non-observance in the most "pure" sense (unknowable sense), the image for this post I would call ambiguous because it is 2 things at once, it moves the mind in 2 ways at once... can you see just the old hag or just the pretty young lady looking away? Can you switch between seeing one then the other, then more quickly? Can you see both at once in one instant? Quantum reality!

Warpeace and Hatelove!


So I sat down and did a little programming in python today, I haven't done it in so long, I'm quite rusty, but here's the result from the work: 666 Snap!

Fairly pleased, the hardest part was grabbing the image from the astrological site since the file name changes... the rest are static and easy to yoink.

Now, I may be interested in making the same program but make database files, like CSV or something in order to graph things and overlay various variables through time... "I bet the monster was happy when they made him a maze"...

Yes. yes indeed, there are some things that are never MEANT to be known, but it's fun wearing down the parts that try and know it.

The code is nasty, I don't even want to show it off...


Jung Enneagram Type

Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||| 33%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||| 43%
Type 3 Image Awareness |||| 16%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||| 36%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||| 40%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||| 20%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Your main type is 5
Your variant is self pres
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test
personality tests by

INTP - "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. The world exists primarily to be understood. 3.3% of total population.
Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Acknowledging the Unconscious

Acknowledging the unconscious, goes beyond just being observant, it seems to be an active observation. Noticing the universe around you and the meaning behind the symbolic experiences you are constantly having. Dream and daily activity have been split arbitrarily by certain schools of thought, even though we can learn from both on a consistent basis. I noticed that I've had a propensity to cleave the symbol from the idea it's representing, when it seems possible to see they are inseparable.

The above rant resulted from reading ~30 pages from "The Mysterium Lectures - A Journey through C.G. Jung's Mysterium Coniunctionis" today, picked it up from the local university library. I checked that book out after reading some sections from the original work by Jung... some difficult reading indeed. Finding a good Latin and Greek dictionary is on my "to-do" list for tomorrow.

Wisdom -> understanding -> karma ->

Until it is time,

Monday, August 2, 2010


Painted some of this.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Layers of Liar's Lairs

"Legs spread, same width as the shoulders. Body tight, then hit the ball like you're defeating the enemy. Here, the pinky finger is the key. And then you just hit, hit, hit. Ka-kin! Bingo!" ... "He who conquers the left side conquers the world, chief." - Mamimi from FLCL ep. 1

To be in a place where a life of shamelessness in the most divine sense has been remembered.
Remember Jean-Paul Sartre's words of wisdom to the wise: "Hell is other people"

What doth creates the sense of SHAME? Who are the "KNOW-BETTERS" than you?! We are so desperate we SEEK THEM OUT, and PAY THEM to KNOW BETTER than us.
"When the pain is great enough, we will let anyone be doctor." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

3 un-noble truths, which fuck wanted to be "noble" anyway?

  • I don't know what to do with myself
  • I feel terrible about myself
  • I fear I won't make it

I know these, I am carrying these with me this week. When we give up "knowing", knowing begins.
The rose is beautiful because it suffers, the sage can afford to appear old and decrepit